I met my dear friend Emily at a coffee-shop/bakery
yesterday here in our little New England town.
Emily has had two-year-old Astrid living with
her for a few months but I had not seen her since
she arrived from Honduras. Astrid has a spine
problem and will be operated on tomorrow at Shriner’s
Hospital. When she arrived she was a withdrawn,
dull-eyed, little girl who would sit silently
for hours, seemingly disengaged from the world.
When I saw Astrid yesterday, she was a vivacious
toddler engaging everyone sitting around us in
the children’s area of the bakery. She used
a napkin as her cloth to clean the little table,
and set up an imaginary shop of her own. She used
books as guests sitting in the chairs and waited
on them, pouring “coffee” from a water
bottle and jabbering away to her invisible guests
in Spanish. Her creative spark had been reignited
by two months of love, nurturing, and the freedom
to play.
Many adults have lost this enchantment this open
creative vein and search everywhere for happiness,
peace or fulfillment. Countless hours are spent
in therapists' offices in an attempt to find that
magic, the spirituality, the creative spark that
was lost somewhere in the past. But magic exists
right now within your child. By inviting her to
see magic in the ordinary, you strengthen her
connection to her creative self so that it lives
forever in her life. When she reaches adulthood,
your child will have no need to search outside
of herself for "something to make her happy."
She will have access to free thinking, and her
sense of wonder will translate into a love of
learning.
Our society, with its emphasis on the material,
can deaden the natural enthusiasm our children
have for the ordinary. High-tech toys, computers,
and other devices can dull imagination and creativity.
The thirty-second sound and stimulation bites
on television, with fast moving pictures and bright
colors, seduce our children and us. When we overwhelm
our kids with plastic, battery operated devices,
video games, and inappropriate television programming;
we squelch their natural creative spirit.
 Try
to keep things simple and allow your children
to be in charge of the magic in their own way.
Here are some simple ways to nurture creativity
and wonder in your children so they can grow up
to be who they were meant to be: creative, resilient,
possibility seekers.
1. Provide an environment that encourages your
children to explore and play without interruptions.
Schedule it on your calendar, if need be. Then,
get out of the way - rather than organizing or
hovering over your child, allow your child to
set the pace rather than organizing or hovering.
2. Listen, observe, and make note of what your
child finds interesting. Then, provide materials
to feed those interests, making sure to release
any expectations of finished results. Rather than
purchasing plastic toys with limited use, buy
wooden blocks, simple art materials, used musical
instruments, funky dress-up clothes from the local
Goodwill. My children’s favorite plaything
was a huge refrigerator box I’d recycle
every 6 months or so. It received far more play
hours than the fancy dollhouse passed down from
a neighbor.
3. Accept unusual ideas from your child by letting
go of judgment and staying open to his naive wisdom.
Just for today try out the crazy suggestions for
how to better frost that cake. Allow your kids
to be in charge of setting the table. They choose
the evening’s centerpiece design. Anything
goes! Use creative problem-solving when everyday
dilemmas come up rather than your word as the
final verdict. “You guys decide what ingredients
go on the pizza tonight by the time the bubbles
are all down the drain.”
4. Start an ongoing family story. Write an opening
line and leave the paper in a central place for
others to add to as they are moved. Or play the
“what if” game. “What if you
were given 2 days to do anything you wanted to
do….” Next time you are stuck in
traffic play our family’s favorite game
of Car Stories. Watch the cars that go past and
pick one to tell a story about. “This car
is heading to New York City. The two kids in the
back are lucky enough to be missing school because
their grandparents, driving the car, are taking
them to the Museum of Natural History because
the grandfather worked there and he can take them
behind the displays. The boy loves elephants….”
5. Emphasize process rather than product. Put
on music, spread out lots of paper, and ask your
child to paint the music. Encourage her to focus
on the movement of the brush, the swirl of color
-- not the final picture.
6. Did you give up sketching years ago with the
excuse that you just didn’t have the time?
Haul out your charcoal pencils and pack up a bag
with sketch pads and a picnic lunch. Find a setting
in nature that calls to you, and join your child
in drawing what you see, snacking on treats, and
being creative together.
7. Shake up each day with something new. Try
a new fruit from the grocery store or listen to
a different radio station. Drive a different route
home from school or eat dinner in a room other
than the kitchen. You might just designate a notebook
as the holder of the unusual and jot down what
new experience you encountered.
8. Even the youngest child can compose music.
Ask the music lover in your family to make up
a song on the keyboard or piano. Maybe his brother
can write some words to go with the notes.
9. Turn OFF the television and turn your largest
doorway into a proscenium arch. You’ve now
got a stage for your child’s performances.
Hang two sheets on a tension rod and you’ve
got instant "entrance” possibilities.
Or find an old tape recorder and encourage your
kids to make up their own radio shows. This was
my favorite pastime as a kid, and I spent hours
taking the listener through my house on a tour
or interviewing celebrity guests – my siblings.
About the author: Mimi Doe is the founder
of www.SpiritualParenting.com
and the award winning author of Busy but Balanced
(St. Martin's Press) and 10 Principles for
Spiritual Parenting (HarperCollins) as well
as 3 other books for parents. Mimi's free newsletter,
Spiritual
Parenting, has more 50,000 subscribers
from around the world. Visit her online
to subscribe to her newsletter.
© Mimi Doe, 2007 All rights reserved |
