How to Raise Spiritually Connected Kids
By:  Mimi Doe

SEND TO A FRIEND

We know more about nutrition than past generations.  We've identified nuances in our child’s learning styles and new educational techniques to address these varied needs.  We give our children every advantage we can afford, and some we cannot afford.  We organize, direct, enroll, coach, and transport our children to and from lessons, games, practices, social events, doctor's appointments, tutoring, and schools. We are trying to be good parents and give our children all they need to develop into well-rounded and successful adults.  We may, however, be missing the very core of our child's being, his spirituality.

Spirituality is the base from which grows self-esteem, values, morals, and a sense of belonging. It is what gives life direction and meaning. Spiritual parenting is not limited to any one religion's teachings but rather is an authentic, honest way of interacting with our children day to day. 

All children begin life with an innate sense of wonder about their world. They are naturally intuitive and open. We, as parents, can foster this precious state of being with our words, actions, and attentiveness.  Where there is wonder there is spirituality.  The ordinary becomes the incredible when we live life as a prayer, a soulful journey, when we endow the daily routine with magic.  When we stop the chaos of daily life and celebrate the small moments we provide our children the joy of the moment, we affirm and acknowledge their true state of being. 

“How, you ask?”  “I’m so busy now, where am I possibly going to get the time to nurture my child’s soul?” I assure you that it is not only possible but can easily work in any kind of family in any kind of home. It doesn’t take any more time or require any special training.  In fact, raising a child with AD/HD calls us and our child to focus on the present moment, simplify our lives, create a soulful home, release our fixed expectations, and pay attention to the rhythm of our days. 

Here are a few ways to begin nourishing the huge spirit housed in the little body of your precious child:

Listen to Your Child!  Children have wisdom and they are naturally in touch
with their intuition. If we listen and honor their instincts they will learn to do so as well. We often assume that our AD/HD child is “just acting out” or “behaving irrationally” without pausing and hearing what it is they have to say and how they feel deep inside. When a child says, “It just doesn’t feel right Mama,” it’s time to go deeper and find out why. 

Not only does listening help children to validate their own deepest intuition it also gives us specific insight into what our child needs. I have learned much from my children and the many kids I have worked with.  I recall the AD/HD child, age six,  who said, “I just want to get a hold of all the stuff my parents throw away.  I could make rockets from the trash.  If only they’d let me fool around with stuff instead of being so sure I’ll hurt myself or make a mess.” Once his parents were convinced to create a “junk box” for their son to tinker with, he focused for large amounts of time, to the amazement of his parents and teacher. 

Set aside specific times to listen to your child, a walk in the park after school, in the evenings before bed, Saturday morning breakfast, or a special date for just the two of you. Listen!  Don’t do all the talking.  Hear what he or she is saying and you’ll be amazed at the things that come up.

Add Magic to the Ordinary!  Starting today, add a little magic to your daily life with your children.  Don’t just wash the dishes at the sink - look for the fairies in the bubbles.  Eat breakfast for dinner. Music is a great way to touch the spirit.  Try different kinds with your child. Soon, he will know what frees his soul.  Drop lavender oil on cool light bulbs and sprinkle scented powder between your son or daughter’s sheets at night. Put a flower on the breakfast plate.  If there isn't one growing near by make one out of tissue paper or draw one on a napkin.  Use your imagination and remain open for inspiration. 

Young children see the magic naturally in their lives.  Let’s not belittle their ecstasy but join in it. Look at the ladybug that is flying around your kitchen - count her dots - write a poem about where she is going. This makes magic.

Magic allows the natural energy of an AD/HD child to be channeled into the excitement at hand. Creating magic out of the ordinary builds celebration, rituals and loving, lasting memories that nourish the souls of everyone involved.

3.  Create a Flexible Structure!  Kids with AD/HD need order.  They need to know what to count on in an unpredictable world.  Depending on your personality and your life situation, your routine and structure may vary.  If you take a long hard look at a typical weekday in the life of your family, jotting down what the pattern is, you can then judge whether you need to create more order or perhaps loosen up a bit. One seven-year-old recently told me, “I feel like I'm in prison.  Everyone tells me what to do.  My mommy, my teacher, even the bus driver tells me where to sit.  Then I go to Sunday school and I have to glue the picture just like the teacher's. I feel just like I'm in prison." 

The trick is to be structured without being rigid and to be secure while being spontaneous. Within family rules flexibility can exist for the child's expression of individuality and spirituality. It is safe when boundaries and expectations are clear. 

Have fun adding flexibility.  If you are stumped for ideas just ask your kids!

4.  Be a Good Mirror for Your Child.    You are a mirror for your child and will show by example how spirituality and daily life merge.  Everything you do or say, every habit you have, your tone of voice, your expressions, all teach your child what the world is and how he fits into it.  What he sees in you is a mirror of the bigger world.  What he sees in you is a mirror of who he is.  Be open to the positives in your child rather than focusing, even internally, on his perceived short comings.
 
If your child sees a parent who has a loving comfortable relationship with spirit, chances are she will too.  If you want a child who is spirit-filled and comfortable with her connection to The Higher Power show her how you do it.  Is meditation something that works for you?  Children as young as four enjoy sitting for a few minutes and meditating – yes even AD/HD kids.  Use a timer and call it “Quiet Time,” explaining that both of you need a quiet moment in the day to rest your body and mind. Give your child specific methods for stilling his racing mind.  “Picture a blackboard filled with writing.  Now take some time and erase the blackboard.  When you are done erasing, wash it down with a big wet sponge.”

5.  Make Each Day a New Beginning.  We can start fresh each day as the parent we want to be.  So you lost your temper, fed the kids fast food again, did nothing to nurture your own soul much less theirs, had no structure at all, and dismissed your daughter as she tried to share her dream with you.  You can start over right now. Starting over each day, with the assurance that we are not in this alone, is spirit in action.  Forgiveness and faith, for our children and for ourselves, is knowing that spirit moves and breathes and is our life force.