Creating Special Family Moments
By:  Mimi Doe

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When we weave ceremonies, celebrations, and traditions throughout our children's days, we give them a feeling of predictability, a comforting connection with home and family, and a sense of the sacred. Intimate family celebrations help us slow down, come fully into the present moment, and escape the frenzy of the world "out there." I have met many children over the years raised with meaningful traditions. These kids seem to have a sense of spirituality and wonder, a connection with nature, and a strong relationship with their families. My guess is that many of their childhood traditions will live on in future generations.
The most beautiful and effective celebrations cost little or nothing and don’t take a lot of time. To follow are some ideas for creating your own simple celebrations and traditions:

*Huddle up before heading out.
Even on the craziest mornings, you can spare ten seconds to come together for a group hug or huddle to start the day with a sense of unity.  Try exiting the house with a loud "Go, team!"

*Make ordinary days special.

Declare the first Friday of each month a Good Luck Day in your family. Finding a ladybug in the house might mean that magic is on the way. With very young children, days of the week can have enchanting names, Magic Monday, Totally Terrific Tuesday, Wondrous Wednesday--and so on. Create Sibling Day. Pick a Saturday during the year when children can make gifts for each other and celebrate what's special about their sister or brother.

*Create family holidays.

Celebrate the day you moved into your home, your cat's birthday, the day your grandparents became American citizens. A family I know takes their children out of school each year on the day they were engaged to mark the special event. They do something together, such as hike up a mountain or go to the beach, and give thanks for Mom and Dad's beautiful relationship.

*Applaud growth and mark an accomplishment or an event.

Give a toast, write a poem, or create a special ceremony to acknowledge the life stages of those you love--a baby's first step, the first night without a diaper, the first day of first grade, the first library card, becoming a teenager, getting a driver's license.
Celebrate a butterfly sighting or geese flying south, a fresh snowfall, a field goal, a part in a play, a lost object found, a new haircut, Picture Day at school. A toddler who lives on our street cherishes the simple ritual of turning on the vacuum cleaner for his mom, then pushing the button that magically "eats" the cord when she is done. Beat the midwinter blues. Don't forget those holidays that get you through to spring--and brighten up the down period between Christmas and the warmer weather. Have a family Valentine's Dinner--lots of red candles, lacy doilies, little white lights wrapped around the room, and heart-shaped food. Even President's Day is an opportunity to come together as a family. You might talk about what makes a good leader, read stories about Washington and Lincoln, and say what each of you would do to make the world a better place if you were president.

*Write your family’s theme song.

Creating musical memories doesn’t take an operatic voice or music degree.  Just get a little creative and change the worlds to a nursery rhyme or children's song and customize it to your family.  When my kids were young we ended each bedtime ritual with a little song listing all the people “who love me.”

*Come up with habits of reverence.

Whether it's holding hands around the dinner table and giving thanks for the evening meal or kneeling together at bedtime, weaving reverence into specific activities creates habits that provide comfort and hope.  You don’t need to be religious to create moments of inspiration.  Compile your own book of quotes or positive poems that can be read at appropriate times.   I love some of Shel Silverstein’s poems, particularly the one entitled “The Voice” from the book “Falling Up.”

*Designate a specific compliment time.

Passing around the praise is a habit any family can benefit from.  Maybe each night at dinner your family holds “compliment time,” when you go around the table saying one nice thing about everyone seated there, of course pets count too.  Your kids will blossom from the praise they hear from you and their siblings and learn how to appreciate even small things in others.

*Birthdays in our house are…

Since birthdays are our own personal New Year, design some special customs for your family to celebrate this thrilling day and steer away from the commercialized, plastic, overused modes of celebrations.