In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person."
-- Wilbert Donald Gough

In the busy whirl of our lives we are expected to take care of so much--kids, home, pets, job, health, appearance, finances--that we might lose touch with our life partner. He/She is big enough to take care of him/herself, we think, relieved that there is one less area that requires our energy.

The truth is, giving to your partner doesn't have to be another detail to add to your long list of "to do's" but has the potential to nourish you as well as deepen the relationship.

Begin fostering a more loving partnership by identifying small actions you might take, for instance:

1. Set up time to articulate your shared goals and dreams. Don't call these meetings "dates" because when life gets busy, it's much easier to erase a "date" from the calendar than to reschedule a meeting.

2. Remember that you are in this partnership for the long haul. There probably isn't as much time or energy to nurture the relationship as you'd like during these years when your children are young, but your time will come.

3. Communicate honestly, directly, and often--even if it has to be through emails, notes, or phone messages.

4. Banish television--no kidding. Many couples tell me that once they got out of the passive evening television rut, they were able to focus on their partners. Finally the kids are in bed, you're exhausted and it's easier to zone out in
front of some droll programming then relate to the person sitting next to you. Your marriage will blossom when you scale back the distractions and use the quiet moments you have to be together.

5. If you share a hobby or interest, you're blessed. If you don't, find one. Then, schedule time to enjoy this interest together. A friend of my daughter's says she knows there's trouble between her parents when they don't play much golf.

6. Call up the feelings you had when you first met your spouse. Your initial feelings of euphoria over this exciting new person in your life can be recalled during the monotony of the laundry and the mortgage payments. Just remember that feeling when you need a zap of "partner inspiration."

7. Learn the fine art of tolerance. My husband is a master at this. He rarely, if ever, criticizes me--and believe me there is much to criticize. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.

8. No family is perfect and every family deals with difficulties. Perhaps you have a blended family, in-laws living with you, suffocating debt, illness, or job loss. It's through these tough times that you can grow stronger as a duo. Be careful where you lay blame and practice being kind rather than being right.

9. Many readers over the years have written to say that they've used the principles in "10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting" with their husband or wife turning it into "10 Principles for Spiritual Spousing." You might be inspired to go through the book with an eye for how you to make magic out of the ordinary with your partner, truly listen, and make each day a new beginning.

10. Appreciate and acknowledge each other in front of the kids--"Didn't Daddy make a great breakfast this orning?"
"Did you see Mom skate a perfect figure 8?" "Thanks for coming home early tonight so we could all eat dinner ogether,

I know it was a big effort."

Bonus Tip:

*Select a specific prayer to focus on together. I know one couple who were moved by the "Prayer of Jabez" and decided to pray together each morning as they prepared for the day. The prayer was taped to their bathroom mirror. This simple act of whispering the same words of reverence reestablished a lagging bond for this husband and wife.

*Mimi Doe presents workshops and talks to groups around the world. For more information about scheduling Mimi to speak to your parenting group, spiritual community, association, or conference please contact Shane Bowlin:
Shane@SpiritualParenting.com
954-718-5693

You can also view workshop information here.

In the News

*Beliefnet.com
Mimi Doe's Spiritual Parenting Page
Daily Quotes, audio clips, Q and A's
Beginning January 15th

*Parent Talk Radio
Nationally syndicated show
Busy but Balanced Tip of the Week
www.radioforparents.com for stations near you

*Philadelphia Daily News
January 20

*Fitness Magazine, February issue

"Creating a Balanced Life"

*Wisdom Radio
Jill & Friends

March 13 5pm EST
www.wisdommedia.com

*Body and Soul Magazine
March/April issue
"Raising Kids with Soul"

*Unity's 2002 Conference
June 19
Orlando, Florida

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While it's possible to shift your parenting and create more family spirit just by participating in this list, you'll probably find it a bit easier and more fun if you have my book, "Busy but Balanced." I've made it available on my site, hrough my association with Amazon Books.

Join thousands of other parents as they move through the book week by week and month by month.

Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (sm) is written and produced by Mimi Doe. If you have any questions or comments please send them to: Editor@SpiritualParenting.com. We'd love to hear from you!

Copyright 2002, Mimi Doe.
All rights reserved.

Mimi Doe
Author of
"Busy but Balanced"
"10 Principles For Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"

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Mimi Doe
Author of:
Busy But Balanced: Practical and Inspirational Ways to Create Closer, Calmer Families (St. Martin's Press) Busy but Balanced is an essential guide for chaotic lives, offered up with humor and love. It will inspire all parents. --John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Sign up for the free newsletter