 The
common refrain these days seems to be, “Whew....life
is crazy. We are so busy.”
It's almost a badge of achievement for some parents
to breathlessly describe their “on the run”
lives--as if they're giving their child a leg
up by being on two travel sports teams, the school’s
team and a little strength training on the side.
Describing their busy schedules seems to validate
parent’s efforts and suggest that they are
giving their children stellar advantages. Phoning
their middle schooler’s soccer coach demanding
more play time or taking charge of their child’s
off-season training assures them they are on top
of this project called “parenting.”
We are busy parents micro-managing busy kids.
We love our children and want to provide everything
we can to see them empowered, and successful.
In the midst of all this busyness, however, kids
are burning out both physically and spiritually.
What their souls crave much more than another
winning game is the loving presence of an adult
who listens and cares deeply. They need less pressure
to perform and more open-ended time to ponder.
Rather than being a project their parents strategically
plan, with achievements measured on a corporate-like
timeline, kids yearn for a relationship with their
mom and dad.
Just because our own lives might be frenetic
with work, family, and the endless tasks of daily
life, doesn't mean we should program our kids
into that rhythm. When we find the balance
between offering our children healthy sports opportunities
and running them ragged, our own pace inevitably
winds down. When we create a manageable
schedule for our kids, we eliminate some of the
exhaustion and stress that is consuming far too
many of them. Sports do help children learn and
grow, but too much of a good thing can hurt.
It is possible to create balance within
your family’s everyday life – even
with children who participate in sports.
The essential ingredient is balance. Here are
5 tips for balancing your children’s sports
schedules with your family life.
1. Children’s individual temperaments need
to be taken into account when planning sports
involvement. Determine the activity level
that keeps each of your kids on an even keel.
Some children need the energy a group provides
and thrive on the dynamics of team sports, while
others are sourced and refueled by taking a quiet
walk around the neighborhood or shooting baskets
on their own. Observe your children, listen to
them, and follow your own intuition.
2. Schedule a “family meeting” and
come equipped with a large “master calendar.”
Examine the logistics of your family's schedule,
in terms of budgeting time, money, and carpool
stamina. Talk about everyone’s current
commitments and goals for the upcoming season.
Then, fill in the calendar using a different color
marker for each child’s obligations.
It’s not possible to back out of current
commitments, you want your children to learn follow
through, but you can get a handle on what must
change next season!
3. Designate one night a week or month as Family
Night. Rent a movie, pop some popcorn, light
a fire, and just be together. Make sure
that nothing comes in the way of your standing
Family Night.
4. Our culture doesn't honor the value of free
time, but we must. Kids aren’t comfortable
with quiet as they grow older because they aren’t
used to it. It's of critical importance
to create space in our young children's days for
unstructured, open-ended, quiet time.
Make sure the weekends are a time to rest, daydream,
and recharge for the week ahead.
|
