Spritual
home spiritual workshop newsletter reel appeal press Contact us
rs kids
 
Tina Russell
Spirituality.com

Each day parents face challenges. Some days it is just having the energy to get through the carpools and sports games and homework and all the activities that keep families on the go. Other days there are much darker and difficult challenges, days like September 11, 2001. How can parents handle the darker days? What do we say to our kids about tragic moments in life? Can families raise children with a belief in spirituality in a world that might seem bereft of it?

Acclaimed author and parenting expert Mimi Doe has spent a lot of time since last year finding out some answers to those questions. Mimi knows kids. Not only is she the mother of two daughters, but also she is what Ladies' Home Journal calls a "parenting guru." She has a master's degree in education from Harvard University and has written two books on parenting, Busy but Balanced: Practical and Inspirational Ways to Create a Calmer, Closer Family (St. Martin's Press) and 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting: Nurturing Your Child's Soul, (HarperCollins) which won Parents' Choice Seal of Approval. Starting in October, Mimi is featured weekly on New Morning TV on the Hallmark Channel.

spirituality.com caught up with Mimi to get her take on the possibility of raising children with a sense of the divine in today's world.

spirituality.com: What does spirituality mean to you?

Mimi: It's the consciousness that links us directly to God, or whatever we name as the Divine Source. That consciousness can be ignited when we're in church, when we're deep in meditation, when we are making a good soup or when we're making a mud pie. It is when we are alert and aware that all life is connected and has a purpose.

Spiritual parenting is not limited to any one religion; it is not limited to any one set of beliefs. It's when we shift our thinking to include our children's vivid inner lives, as well as their behavior.

spirituality.com: How can having a belief in God, or this higher Source, make a difference in life?

Mimi: Oh, that's a good question. My goal in spiritual parenting is to encourage and support my own children's connection with a loving God. Why? Because I feel that connection is an ever available, always flexible support system for my kids. God can be whatever they need God to be at whatever time. God won't tell. God is always there, whether they're at a sleepover, or feeling left out in the cafeteria.

Why is a spiritual connection important to kids? It gives them a sense of belonging to something greater than themselves. It helps them validate their intuition or gut feeling, or voice of God within. One of the most powerful tools we can give our kids is that inner compass, the voice of God within that guides them when we can't. Feeling a spiritual connection gives our kids roots, it's something wise, strong, ever-present, ancient, sacred. It gives them wings to reach out in their world, bravely, because they're supported by and anchored in this loving presence.

spirituality.com: How do we help kids know God cares for them?

Mimi: Kids are really eager to accept there is a higher sacred power. They are very willing. Rather then filling them up with rote learning, which is our old model of spiritual teaching, let's hear what they have to say, let's listen. When we listen, our kids feel free to bring their inside visions, their views of a loving God, out. They can tell us. It doesn't mean that we don't also say what we believe in, or what we're confused about. But bringing God into our everyday life is another way to help kids know God cares for them. Pointing out simple signs of God in our family life is another way to ignite that awareness. Helping our kids understand that God doesn't fail us even when a 9/11, or a terrible war happens. God is there to lift us up and get us through difficulties in this life.

spirituality.com: In 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting: Nurturing Your Child's Soul, you write about helping kids cope when tragic things happen in life. And you've spoken with many parents about September 11. How did you talk with your own kids about it? Did they come to you with questions?

Mimi: One of the things we did was take action. My kids empathized with the dogs that were searching for bodies because their paws were being cut up by glass. So, we called the local Animal Rescue League, and asked, "What can we do?" "Well you can send us booties for the dogs," they said. All right, we went into action.

Taking action sometimes is God working through us. Taking action sometimes helps with anger. And we talked a lot about not judging everybody who looks like they're from Middle Eastern countries. We talked about praying and sending light to those people who need it.

spirituality.com: In 10 Principles there is a chapter called, "Trust and teach that all life is connected." How do you teach that life is connected when perhaps trust is gone? How do you go about rebuilding trust, instilling a sense of safety or allaying those fears that are lingering for kids, or for adults even?

Mimi: There are a lot of fears in the world. It's a fine balance between helping our children reach out with love and being safe. One thing we focus on is all the good there is in the world. We talk about the good, we talk about the people we can trust, about the people who are loving. It's as simple as not judging, it's as simple as when we want to say something about someone that is a judgment, we don't.

spirituality.com: With the anniversary of September 11, many families will be coming together to talk about what happened in 2001 and what it meant then, what it means now. Do you think that anything has changed? Do you think we have grown as people?

Mimi: I do. I took a poll of my newsletter subscribers and 90 percent of the respondents feel now more than ever that they're responsible for the spiritual development of their kids. And that is clearly a result of September 11th and the war. Raising kind, compassionate kids who stay connected to their spirits and their families is not something that we're going to leave to chance. And I see that spark happening as a result of 9/11.

I see families who are striving to be closer. I think we won't be talking as much about how to stay safe. I think we might be talking about what we can do to celebrate the moment. Over the years, every time I give a workshop, I do a little assessment at the end. The leading sources of regret in people's lives are inaction, failing to seize the day and a family life that feels out of control. I think after 9/11, families are trying to figure out a way to create a family life that is in control and to seize the day calmly and lovingly.

Top