 The
baby has arrived and your days are jammed.
You feel indescribable joy, falling in love with
this infant. But there’s also a growing
anxiety as you struggle to balance the baby’s
needs with the other demands of your life. From
getting the dishes done, the dog walked, the diaper
pail emptied, thank you notes written, shirts
dry-cleaned, armpits deodorized, memos drafted,
to starting the baby book, life’s tasks
are beginning to put you over the edge.
Don’t panic! Your life does not have to
come to a grinding halt. There is no need to announce
your must take a sabbatical and move to a Vermont
commune with your baby and little else. It is
possible to create harmony within your everyday
life. The essential ingredient is balance.
Balance is what allows you to savor your family
and enjoy your life instead of breathlessly marching
through it.
The following 7 tips will allow you to move closer
to living a more balanced life as a new parent:
1. Perfectionist No More
Give yourself a break and stop fretting about
what you can’t change or what isn’t
done. Perfection is impossible for anyone but
particularly for a new parent. You are nurturing
a new life -- a monumental job-- so go easy on
yourself. There will be no grades, no promotion,
no gold stars for this task. Instead, here
in your home is a new life that you’ve co-created,
a miracle that you’ve been privileged to
harbor. Relax. Even if you’ve been
obsessed with orderly closets your entire life,
let them go for the next few months.
2. Go Within
Amidst the whirl that is often your life with
a new baby, you can truly retreat, even for a
moment, to that core of serenity within.
Come up with little habits that calm you.
Maybe when you hear the phone ring it is your
cue to take a deep breath and drop your shoulders.
When you feed the baby, pour yourself a glass
of ice water and put your feet up.
3. Adjust Your Plan
You might not travel on exotic vacations, dance
naked in the moonlight at midnight, or hike the
entire Appalachian Trail when you have a baby.
You can, however, experience the essence
of those experiences that balance you. Spend an
hour alone doing something you love, dance with
the baby in the backyard, or hike local conservation
land with baby snug in the carry-pack while continuing
to plan lifelong goals and dreams.
4. Fuel Up
Sometimes I forget to eat -- and I don’t
have a newborn in the house. I’m not the
only one who skips lunch then grabs whatever is
handy when hunger strikes – and usually
the foods we grab on the go do not provide great
fuel for our bodies. When we eat healthy
with lots of protein, fruits and veggies, we feel
more stable emotionally – more capable,
more resilient. So, make it a priority to
sit down for lunch, even if it’s with babe
in arms.
5. Create a Clean Sweep
Clutter kills serenity. In my experience, about
30 percent of the “stuff” in our homes
are no longer used--outdated clothing, toys with
missing pieces, books that are no longer of interest,
expired items in our medicine cabinets. The effects
of a cluttered room include: feeling out of control,
a sense of heaviness, depression, a lingering
chaotic energy and even exhaustion. Set
aside a special “create order” day.
Buy storage bins and trash bags in fun colors.
Put your baby down for a nap, play your favorite
music, throw open the windows, regardless of the
temperature, and begin to de-clutter just one
room. When you’re done, celebrate
and begin planning the next room to de-clutter.
6. Do It Your Way
You’re the parent and you get to construct
your own way of doing things. Anything goes.
There's no expectation that you can't question,
no "right way" to run your household.
A friend of mine just had her fourth daughter.
Sorting socks was the chore that sent her over
the edge. So, she bought twenty five pairs
of identical white socks. Her three older
girls wear the same size, luckily, and now grab
their two socks, that always match, from the clean
pile--problem solved. Another mom I know says,
“I gave up the idea of having a clean house
all of the time. It distorted who I was
as well as my time with the kids. So I do
one thing a day, vacuum on Monday, laundry on
Wednesday, and by the end of the week it all gets
done.”
7. Practice the ¾ rule.
Rather than stressing when the empty gas tank
light pops up on your dashboard, fill the tank
when it’s ¾ empty. Same goes
for staples in the pantry, laundry, paying bills.
No more dashing out at midnight for a gallon of
milk, searching for clean crib sheets, or fending
off the overdue bill calls
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