Release the Struggle

Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM)

Brought to you by Mimi Doe

July, 2010

V12 #5

RELEASE THE STRUGGLE

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This newsletter is my gift to you in the hopes of empowering children and parents everywhere to live more joyful, connected lives.

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- Welcome From Mimi

- Release the Struggle

- Faith Answered

- Quiet Times

- Things I Love These Days

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July greetings to you all!

I just returned home after spending a glorious 4th of July evening at Tanglewood in Lenox, Mass hearing James Taylor and Carole King! It was like hearing the soundtrack to my teenage years. My husband and I had a simple picnic on the lawn prior to the concert and enjoyed watching the joyful family gatherings around us. July 4th seems a bit odd without children – our daughter Whitney graduated from college in May and is now in Africa working with the nonprofit she founded and will return soon to start her first job, and our daughter Liz is a sophomore at Dartmouth spending this term on campus after spending last term in Rome.

This newsletter is about letting go. As our children move into their own lives, this is what we do. It’s also about releasing the struggle of “shoulds” and “have tos” and various images you have of how events should unfold. It’s about trusting and knowing that you are right where you should be…and life is unfolding with delightful joy to be experienced…right now…in the simple picnic and the peal of children’s laughter…in the mountain view and the broken sandal strap…Well…mine broke last night and it made me walk more slowly and enjoy the scenery!!

Love and light from my heart to yours,

Mimi

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RELEASE THE STRUGGLE

Can you recall an occasion as a young child when you struggled with a task or a problem and found yourself frustrated and angry? Maybe it was a physical skill you had not yet mastered or a school assignment you couldn't understand. Can you remember how you stewed over these things? Perhaps you can also remember someone who recognized your dilemma or to whom you went for help. What a relief to get some support! What a joy not to struggle alone!

We have the same feelings as adults and the same need to find a helper when we encounter life's problems. We have God -- who can give the support we need if we only ask.

Many of us would vehemently say, as we dance along nicely to life's harmonious music, "Of course I am living my spirituality and parenting with spirit." But how about the times when we hear only discords? Sometimes there are days or even weeks when we struggle just to maintain the routine of our lives. There is too much to do, life to too busy, too scary, too sad, too lonely, too overwhelming; events are out of our control. During these times we realize we cannot do it all ourselves, we don't have all the answers, for us or for our children. We struggle to get it all right, to meet conflicting obligations to our children, friends, jobs, extended family, communities, and ourselves. Full, burdened days exist for us all and we need help.

When we turn toward the Divine Parent to help us release this struggle, we are led to the power of God within us. This power can support us and our children throughout our lives. We are not parenting alone; we share the job with God. We can give up the struggle to find fulfillment outside ourselves and instead go to our spiritual centers -- attainment is not "out there" somewhere, but inside. When we search outside ourselves to feel complete, we only extend our struggle.

Releasing the struggle means watching as your child makes her way in the world -- makes her own mistakes and decisions. Letting go implies that you can loosen your grip, knowing that God is gently holding her for you. It means trusting that you have given your children firm roots so they can fly with their spiritual wings. Freeing your child is easier when you remember that you and she are connected by a strong spiritual bond that will never be broken.

The truth is that children come equipped with spiritual tools and an internal spiritual power. The most helpful thing we can do is to remind them of that connection and those tools when problems arise. Remember they are sacred beings -- try not to discount their wisdom. As one insightful 6-year-old said: "I know a lot. I'm a wise old genie."

When we remember we aren't the ultimate authority for our children or always responsible for their behavior, it is easier to let life flow. The same is true with other areas -- when we decide to go with the events of our lives, instead of struggling against them, we can claim some peace. When our children begin to embrace life with an acceptance of what is, they won't allow problems and worries to paralyze them. The presence of God is so great and so ever-present that when we struggle we disconnect from that loving source. Ironically, it is when we release the struggle that we become free.

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FAITH ANSWERED

My grandfather is 97 years old. On a recent visit to his home we noticed a torn and tattered piece of paper taped to the wall above his desk. It read: "Fear came knocking on the door. Faith answered; no one was there." This wonderful man has not had a headache, he claims, his entire life. We think we now know why. He discovered this saying, of unknown origin, more than 50 years ago, carved into the wooden beams of an English pub, and it sums up his approach to life. Release the struggle -- rest in the arms of faith and lose fear. My 2 young daughters quickly memorized their great-grandfather's favorite saying. It will live on in a new generation of parents.

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Silence is God's first language; everything else is a poor translation. In order to hear that language, we must learn to be still and to rest in God.

----- Thomas Keating

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QUIET TIMES

Here are some quiet times that children have told me - some real, and some imagined. Do you plan for a quiet time during your day?

"Whenever I shut my eyes to go to my peaceful place, mist comes and sends me to the clouds. And I take the secret key out of my pocket and I unlock the secret lock and open the door and step inside and I'm there." (Age 8)

"Sometimes I just want to sit quietly and look at books, not be running everywhere all day." (Age 7)

"I put my head under my pillow and it is so quiet and my mind finally stops going so fast and the noise of my sisters and brothers is blocked out. I need those pillow times a lot." (Age 7)

"My peaceful place is up in a hammock that's hanging on a tree in space. There is a pillow, all my stuffed animals, and my blanket. When I look down I see sky and clouds. When I look up I see the moon. Only whales, horses, and dogs and myself can go there. I smell my mom's perfume." (Age 7)

"My peaceful place is at the sea on a tree. There is a purple sky as I lie on a limb and the sun warms me up." (Age 8)

"In the back of my yard there is a place where I go to be alone. It is a little muddy and it is my thinking place." (Age 6)

"I relaxed once at my grandma's house. We sat on a bench and watched the birds fly. I felt so good and peaceful. It's too busy at my house to relax." (Age 7)

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THINGS I LOVE THESE DAYS

1. YouBars

I love foods that give me energy and power to move through my day. I also love knowing exactly what's in those foods if I didn't make them myself. Enter YouBars. I'm obsessed with this comany owned by a mother and son duo. You can create your own, custom bar as well as trail mix and smoothie mix. The bars are my current delight (I haven't yet tried their other produts). You also get to NAME your bar, no kidding. So, if you want to create a box of custom made bars with just the right natural ingredients for your middle schooler who loves almonds you can name it after her...or her sports team and then bring them to practice -- you'll be a hit!

AND, as you add ingredients the web page calculates calories, fiber, protein, etc right there on the screen!

I spoke with Anthony Flynn, the owner, and he has given us a discount code for 5% off anything they make!!! How cool is that. Just type in "HealthyEating" when you check out and you will automatically get the discount.

2. Online Learning

I love all the opportunities for free learing online from some of the world's greatest professors and thinkers. From MIT OpenCourse ware to Ted Talks, click above for a portal to knowledge you'll never believe. Whisk away to a classroom and learn about quantum physics, all before the kids wake up from their naps or your have to take yours.

3. Dream Manifestation Wizard

I'll let the developer of these transformational products tell you about them in his own words as mine don't do justice:

Manifest any goal, desire or life dream with this new award winning audio and software program. A simple and highly efficient process, using the power of your intention combined with images and your own voice, to reprogram your mind for instant and lasting success.

This is an amazing gift of empowerment and will uplift you this month or anytime. If you have a dream, this will help manifest that dream. I spend time each week editing my Dream Manifestor images and lists as my dreams come true almost as fast as I can articulate and put them up!!

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~*~WHAT'S NEW~*~

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO THESE DAYS

Lately I've been listening to Steve Halperns OM Zone on my laptop as I work. It transports me to ease and calm. Check out this instrumental CD and I promise you will find a new serenity. What soothing music do you love? I need some new songs.

MIMI BLOGS

Click HERE to visit my Blog. You can bookmark it on Google to receive updates of new posts. Do leave comments and suggestions so we can have a virtual conversation. My daughter is traveling in Africa matching schools out in the bush with schools in the U.S. She's a college junior and devoted to Ghana, where she taught for four months at age 18.

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CREATE A YEAR OF DREAMS

Make ALL your dreams come true with the Dream Manifesto!

For YEARS I have been creating vision boards or treasure maps using poster boards and images of what

I would like to manifest in my life...Literally for about 24 years...

Up until now...

Now, since I'm on my computer so much of the time...I've installed this easy to use software, literally I had it up and running in less than 5 minutes, and my images are scheduled to appear with sound...that I've created...every few hours...reminding me of what I wish to focus upon...

It's crazy cool! In fact, I have had to delete most of the images I first put up as they HAVE COME TRUE. Time for new dreams!

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TREAT YOUR TEENAGERS TO STRESS FREE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS!

If your children are in high school, pick up a copy of my book: Don't Worry You'll Get In: 100 Tips for Stress Free College Admission. I believe that knowledge is power and have created various ways to help make the application and admissions process less stressful.

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CREATE A LIFE LIVED ON PURPOSE IN 2010

Busy but Balanced

Begin RIGHT NOW to craft a more balanced life!

This book takes you through the year, week by week...Full of tips, tools, ideas and inspiration for crafting a family life that is calm, centered, and full of joy!

Start 2010 with a committment and intention to craft a life of calm and ease. Dive into this weekly, inspirational guide for living a more meaningful life.

Your own new semester of sorts.

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Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM) is written and produced by Mimi Doe and Karen Adolphson. If you have any stories to share, questions or comments, please send them to: Editor@SpiritualParenting.com. We'd love to hear from you!

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Mimi Doe, Author of:
"Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul"
"Busy But Balanced"
"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"

http://www.SpiritualParenting.com