Materialism

Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM)

Brought to you by Mimi Doe

January, 2008

V10 #1

Be What You Want to See

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This newsletter is my gift to you in the hopes of empowering children and parents everywhere to live more joyful, connected lives.

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BE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE

- Welcome From Mimi

- Materialism - or the Lack Thereof

- Be a Positive Mirror for Your Child: Making Choices

- Parents' Check-In Questions

- What's New

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January greetings to you all!

I hope you are fully engaged in this new year and ready for all the joy, abundance, peace, soulful connections, and surprises ahead!

Thank you to so many of you who emailed about the Spiritual Parenting Blog’s new home. Do let me know what you’d like to converse about in that format. Many of you want to know what life is like parenting young adults. I’m learning as I go and my daughters continue to be my teachers. I’ll get a blog on the topic going so you can chime in. Since this is the 10th year for the Spiritual Parenting Newsletter, some of you who had 10 year olds when we began are empty nesters. So, I know you have a lot to say.

I’ve also heard from many of you about the meaningful Affirmagy blankets you gave as holiday gifts. If you missed out during December do order a pink or red blanket for someone you love for Valentine’s Day. Check out the LOVE blanket at the end of the newsletter. If you've read my books you know how I feel about the power of words.

This month’s newsletter is all about helping our kids shift away from the ever present cultural messages that pushes them to believe that their self worth is tied into what they have not who they are. Providing a life at home that nurtures who they are rather than judging and evaluating them helps assuage the world “out there.”

Take time this month to reflect on what really matters to you and your family and I’ll continue to offer ideas for ways to deepen those elements.

Blessings and light from my heart to yours,

Mimi Doe

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The challenge of the saints of the 21st Century is to begin again to comprehend the sacred in the ten thousand things of our world; to reverence what we have come to view as ordinary and devoid of spirit.

-Edward Hays

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MATERIALISM - OR THE LACK THEREOF

My friend Lynn's sons are several years older than my daughters. When they started high school, I didn't believe the stories she told me, so I asked her to take me on a field trip through the school's parking lot.

There were a few classic "kid cars," older Hondas and Toyotas, the occasional American-made sedan with a healthy coast of rust. However, the vast majority of cars in that lot were new and shockingly expensive. Acuras, SUVs, brand new Volvos and Saabs glistened in the sun while their owners finished up algebra or English or social studies.

"Yeah, well, it's a private school," I said to myself. Imagine my surprise when I found out only slighter fewer new luxury cars at the public high school my daughter attended. One recent graduate was known for the silver Jaguar he drove every day another for the bright yellow Hummer.

Time and time again, parents complain to me that their teens define themselves and others by the material goods they own and wear. Inevitably, if I ask a few more questions, I learn that the parent who is complaining admits that she prefers to carry a designer bag or he is comfortable with some credit card debt in order to "afford the finer things in life."

Certainly, our teens encounter daunting social pressures about the "right" kind of backpack, clothes, car, and so forth. But we must examine whether our own behavior contributes to the power of these messages or acts as a counterbalance.

One of the things that disturbed me about the parking lot full of parental-provided luxury cars was that the teens who were driving them had little to look forward to. When you're driving a BMW at sixteen, what's next? A Learjet at twenty-one?

Delayed gratification provides two kinds of pleasure: the long-savored anticipatory pleasure involved in working toward a goal and the short-lived pleasure of achieving it. As we model setting materials goals and then working toward them, we show our teens that there is pleasure involved in waiting for what they want, whether it is a new car or intimacy in a relationship.

It's never too late for us to identify the specific standards we want our children to embrace, instead of hoping they'll learn to make good choices. We must pause and examine what we are mirroring in our own lives, and what we want to tweak in order to model standards that are in line with our beliefs.

When we hold up a mirror to our children and reflect their true selves, we not only give them hope, we remind them of what they, in turn, can mirror to the world: a person who is confidently going towards the future, fully engaged in the now, being all they can be.

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I cannot but have reverence for all that is called life. I cannot avoid compassion for everything that is called life. That is the beginning and foundation of morality.

-- Albert Schweitzer

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BE A POSITIVE MIRROR FOR YOUR CHILD: MAKING CHOICES

One way to help your child make choices is to have her visualize a time in the future - a month, a year, five years, ten years from now - after she has made a particular choice. How does she feel about herself and her decision from that perspective?

Now have her visualize how he might feel with a different choice. Is she proud of herself as she looks back at her decision? You can adapt this for the age of your child. It's effective for adults as well.

If we act in a way outside our personal beliefs, then we're usually uncomfortable; our spirit is unsettled. The exciting thing is that when we choose an action that is consistent with our value system our spirit is at peace.

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Nothing is insignificant, and everything worthy of respect and care. Nothing is second-class. What God has made is of value.

--Paula D'Arcy

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PARENTS' CHECK-IN QUESTIONS

What spiritual quality do I feel drawn toward increasing in my life? Nonviolence? Forgiveness? Acceptance? Compassion? Integrity? Something else?

What spiritual quality am I most resistant to increasing in my life? Am I resistant because it's the quality I most need to increase in order to experience more peace?

What spiritual quality do I notice is lacking in my child's life? Is there a way I can increase the degree to which I am an example of this quality?

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~*~WHAT'S NEW~*~

THE PERFECT VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT

Many of you have emailed to say that those you gave these uplifting blankets to for the holidays were thrilled. If you didn't do so at Christmas, I suggest the Love blanket as a Valentine's gift. My daughter has one on her dorm room bed in college and is ALWAYS being asked where she found it...as it just makes you feel good to read about love!

Head over to Affirmagy and pick up a few for those you love. And, check out the precious baby blankets.

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CREATE A YEAR OF DREAMS

Make ALL your dreams for 2008 come true with the Dream Manifesto!

For YEARS I have been creating vision boards or treasure maps using poster boards and images of what

I would like to manifest in my life...Literally for about 24 years...

Up until now...

Now, since I'm on my computer so much of the time...I've installed this easy to use software, literally I had it up and running in less than 5 minutes, and my images are scheduled to appear with sound...that I've created...every few hours...reminding me of what I wish to focus upon...

It's crazy cool! In fact, I have had to delete most of the images I first put up as they HAVE COME TRUE. Time for new dreams!

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TREAT YOUR TEENAGERS TO STRESS FREE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS!

If your children are in high school, pick up a copy of my book: Don't Worry You'll Get In: 100 Tips for Stress Free College Admission. I believe that knowledge is power and have created various ways to help make the application and admissions process less stressful.

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CREATE A LIFE LIVED ON PURPOSE IN 2008

Busy but Balanced

Begin 2008 by committing to crafting a more balanced life!

This book takes you through the year, week by week...Full of tips, tools, ideas and inspiration for crafting a family life that is calm, centered, and full of joy!

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Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM) is written and produced by Mimi Doe and Karen Adolphson. If you have any stories to share, questions or comments, please send them to: Editor@SpiritualParenting.com. We'd love to hear from you!

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Mimi Doe, Author of:
"Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul"
"Busy But Balanced"
"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"

http://www.SpiritualParenting.com