Parenting Skills; developing intuition in your children

Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM)

Brought to you by Mimi Doe & SpiritualParenting.com
September 2006

V8 #9

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN TO LIVE THEIR DREAMS

- Welcome From Mimi

- Weekly Tips

- Dream Big
- Let Go and Trust
- Parent Check-In: Encourage Your Child's Dreams
- What's New

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Greetings,

I love the fall. It feels to me as if it'is a fresh new semester of life. I'm tempted to head out and buy some new notebooks and pens. As you begin another school year with your children, don't forget to indulge yourself. Pick up a beautiful journal to keep track of your dreams and goals, go ahead and sign up for that art class to reignite your creativity, or trek to the library this weekend and fill up a bag with home decorating books to spark ideas for your tired living room.

This newsletter is perfect for September as it's all about dreaming big, encouraging your kid's dreams and of course nurturing your own. Many parents tell me that they've lost sight of how to nurture their kid's dreams because they're so focused on giving them a leg up, getting ahead in a competitive classroom or college admissions. "How can I foster my son's love of race cars when he has to focus on his soccer sohe can get recruited to a good college?" There are some ideas on this intense pressure below.

And finally, a quick word of thanks for all your emails throughout the month. I so appreciate hearing what you are thinking about and what you'd like to see more of both in the newsletter (which continues to grow simply by word of mouth - there are over 50,000 of you now) and the website. You've asked for ways to create quick, healthy meals for your family and ideas for how to slow down andenjoy the limited time you have together. You've asked for recommendations of products for creating a soulful life and you've expressed your concerns about raising kids who are kind and caring while also being assertive enough to get ahead in life. I'll address all these topics in the comingmonths, both in my blog, on the website and in these newsletters.

Keep those thoughts coming! And, if anyone is interested in being a partof our product review team at SpiritualParenting.com let me know. We are sent a lot of products to test and possibly review. We'd love your "MOM EXPERT" help.

May your fall be full of bountiful blessings and fulfilled dreams!

Blessings and light from my heart to yours,

Mimi

WEEKLY TIPS

September 10-16: As the new school year begins, make it a priority to create a smooth takeoff each day. Give your child a hug before she ventures out the door. Look her in the eye and tell her how proud you are of her. Your child's self-confidence and security will help her do well both in school and in life. Be thoughtful about your child’s re-entry and prepare for a happy landing at the end of the day. Welcome your son or daughter home with a predictable ritual and make yourself available to listen, even if only for fifteen minutes before dinner prep kicks in.

September 17-23: Remember that even within the chaotic times there is a spiritual balance waiting to be found. We often just forget to look. Look this week. Beneath the mounds of dirty clothing, unopened bills, and dishes in the sink, you might find the guardian spirit of your home. See the brilliant soul beneath your 4-year-old's red tantruming face. Recognize the presence that fills you, guides you, and never deserts you beneath your rattled state of mind. That calm, ever present center awaits you and your children always.

September 24-30: Create time and support for your family’s spiritual exploration. Find a meditation class for kids, begin attending church services more regularly, seek out books with spiritual themes, practice yoga together, or simply include more conversations about spirituality in your daily routine.

October 1-7: Allow yourself to think and dream in unlimited ways. We do this for our children, seeing the vision of who they might become and the great things they will accomplish. Let's expand the vision we hold for ourselves. Take steps to reignite one dormant dream this week.

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Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions.

— Albert Einstein quoted in Zen and the Art of Making a Living by Laurence G. Boldt

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DREAM BIG

Victor Frankl was one of the great authors and speakers of the 20th Century. He survived a Nazi concentration camp and he tells us why. "Others gave up hope. I dreamed. I dreamed that someday I would be here, telling you how I…survived the Nazi concentration camps…. In my dreams I have stood before you and said these words a thousand times."

In the U.S Library of Congress, over an entrance to the archives, you can find these words: "They build too low who build beneath the stars."

Testimonials to the power of dreams abound. Many memorable quotes encourage us to dream - and to do it on a grand scale. Few caution us to rein in our hopes and visions.

In truth, God has bigger dreams for our lives than we could ever think up by ourselves. We are here on earth for a reason. Out limited human imaginations can catch just a glimpse of what Spirit has in mind for us.

We start, though, by identifying the life we'd like to be living, based on what we see from our current position. As parents, we can help our children articulate some elements of their dreamed-of futures - at least as far as they can identify them. There may be no conversation more worth having with a child than one that starts like this: "If you could do anything at all with your life, what would you choose?"

It can be hard for kids, and parents, to distinguish passing fancies from bona fide, divinely given dreams. To a certain extent, time alone reveals the nature and enduring power of dreams: they simply refuse to die.

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“If your dreams don't come true, either you don't believe they can or you're not working to make them happen." (Rich, age 19)

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LET GO AND TRUST

Over the years, parents have asked me how to get their kids into a good college if he or she didn't excel at sports or take part in extracurricular activities. They, like me, are struggling with raising balanced kids who develop their interests, stay connected to their spirits and their families while branching out to embrace opportunities, all without being exhausted. Many feel better just knowing they're not alone in the quest for relaxed, mindful kids who have room to explore their spiritual selves without always keeping an eye towards what college admissions offices want.

In response to worried questions about "What will colleges think of a kid who isn't a star by seventeen?" I want to tell you about a young woman named Laney.

Laney was raised on a farm in Virginia with parents who encouraged her to paint the hallways of their home with her vivid images and fill her afternoon making mud pies. Not one for talking on the phone during the adolescent years, Laney would beg her mom to tell the kids she wasn't home. She was busy painting.

There were no art classes in her little town so Laney developed her own unique style. By the time she visited me that summer while touring colleges, she had quite a collection of small unusual collages. She also created a purple portfolio from hand-painted paper to feature photographs of her art. Laney had never played soccer or joined a club but some pretty fancy colleges sure wanted her during their admission selection.

Laney had a passion, art, and low-key, yet attentive and loving parents who supported her as she explored her calling. In doing so, she discovered herself.

In my book, “Don’t Worry: You’ll Get In” I collaborated with my friend Michele Hernandez to not only make the admissions process more transparent, but to give kids tips for relaxing through it. De-stressing doesn’t mean checking out. Encourage your teenage son or daughter to follow their dreams rather than turn themselves into someone they think admission’s officers want them to be.

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“So you see, imagination needs noodling — long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling, and puttering.”

— Brenda Veland quoted in The Artist's Way by Julie Cameron

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PARENT CHECK-IN: ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD'S DREAMS

- What are 3 qualities I admire in my child?

- What is my hope for my child's future?

- Have I told or shown my child that I have faith in her - that I believe in her potential and her goals? How have I done this or how can I do it in the future?

- Pause for a moment and consider how you define success - not by our culture's definition, but your own deeply felt benchmarks for your child's achievements. Kids can't help but sense our disappointment when they don't quite measure up. You might spend some time redefining success. Peace of mind, lasting friendships, improving the lives of animals, and an education that feeds one's mind and spirit are all important qualities.

- Talk with your teenager about the people, living or dead, he or she admires the most. Augment your teen's awareness by looking for books and articles about other kids achieving their goals. What qualities in those individuals does he or she aspire to? Take the conversation a step further by asking your teen to imagine that she possesses these qualities in full measure. What would she do with her life?

- Listen to your child for discontent, as that could be the source of a dream. We sometimes become aware of our unique gift to the world by noticing a wrong that needs to be righted. One young man, frustrated by what he perceived as biased reporting in his local newspaper, went to journalism school to learn how to do it better. While his dream is still forming, he's well on the way to living a life guided by a passionate sense of purpose.

- Remember that our human imaginations are limited, compared to the infinite possibilities of Spirit. As you and your child set intentions, use a phrase that invites Spirit's full play: "This, God, or something better." It goes at the end of a statement of intention. For instance: "I am an artist whose paintings are coveted by collectors and shown in the most exclusive galleries. I earn an abundant living from my artwork and have a rich family life. This, God, or something better."

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“If you always imagine God in the same way, no matter how true and beautiful it may be, you will not be able to receive the gift of the new ways he has ready for you.”

— Carlos Valles in This Our Exile by James Martin

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WHAT'S NEW

Product of the Month:

vedaMAMA: Purify

I read about this product in Yoga Journal not long ago and was intrigued by the idea that it was created by Manhattan pediatrician Dr. Natalie Geary based upon ancient ayurvedic teachings. There is a line for babies, vedababy and a delicious line for mamas.

I tried Purify, an evening cream that's meant to detox the skin and wash away all impurities in the morning. I love that notion--sort of a skin cleanse. It's all natural, smells amazing, and is completely hypoallergenic.

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SPIRITUAL CINEMA

If you're as tired of the commercial movies available as I am, you'll be thrilled to hear of a new alternative: Spiritual Cinema Circle. Each month you will receive a DVD with 3 to 5 high quality spiritual film selection to keep. You can watch these films with your children or after they are safely tucked in bed. Spiritual Cinema examines who we are and why we are here, and illuminates the human condition through stories and images that inspire us to reach our best human potential. For more information and to sign up, click on the little pool of water above.

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http://www.spiritualcinemacircle.com/public/previeew/?af+17306

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Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM) is written and produced by Mimi Doe and Karen Adolphson. If you have any stories to share, questions or comments, please send them to: Editor@SpiritualParenting.com. We'd love to hear from you!

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Mimi Doe, Author of:
"Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul"
"Busy But Balanced"
"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"
PO Box 157 Concord MA 01742
http://www.SpiritualParenting.com