Communication

Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM)

Brought to you by Mimi Doe

September, 2009

V11 #7

Communication is Key

*******************************************************************************************

This newsletter is my gift to you in the hopes of empowering children and parents everywhere to live more joyful, connected lives.

********************************************************************************************

COMMUNICATION IS KEY

- Welcome From Mimi

- Communicate

- Easy Does It

- Parents' Check-in Questions, Conversation Starters

- What's New

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

September greetings to you all!

It’s that delicious time of year when summer and fall meet—crisp nights and school bus mornings.

May your fall bring you a new semester of all that is good and true and pure. May you find unexpected delight in the everyday and dream big for the future.

Blessings and light from my heart to yours,

Mimi Doe

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

For listening is the act of entering the skin of the other and wearing it for a time as if it were our own. Listening is the gateway to understanding.

— David Spangler

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

COMMUNICATION IS KEY

Have you talked with your teenager lately to spell out those things you assume he/she knows? Statements such as, "Even if you screw up, tell me the truth and I will respect you for that." "You can always come to me with problems." Or "There's nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you." Communicate the all-important "I believe in you" in words your teen understand. "Teen speak" is an altogether different language, and by the time you finally master is, it changes. The essence of what you want your teenager to know, however, will translate if you are authentic and honest.

I want my girls to know they can count on me no matter what. When they worry about disappoint me, however, miscommunication can set in.

I remember when my oldest daughter Whitney began fencing her freshman year of high school - she did a great job, made the varsity team, and committed herself to working hard. I love learning about my children's interests and being a part of their activities. With this one, however, Whitney was clear that she didn't want her dad or me to attend the fencing matches. Of course, my feelings were hurt. I imagined that she was embarrassed to have her parents in attendance. I assured her I wouldn't yell her name, and would discreetly watch from the corner of the gym; I really wanted to see her fence. During family dinners Whitney described in detail the events of that day's match but no invitations for a viewing were offered. Finally, one cold Thursday afternoon as I was driving her to lift her saber in competition, Whitney said, "Mom, I would just get too nervous at this point if you were watching me" She's a girl of few words, but by saying those, I understood.

How often do we misunderstand our teen's actions, take them personally, and allow a wedge to drive its way into our relationship? A simple sentence might open the door to understanding or illuminate that we are completely on the wrong page. It's easy to fall into the stereotypical assumptions; in my case, I assumed Whitney was embarrassed to have her often outspoken, very excitable, and proud mother draw any sort of attention to her. By patiently waiting, however (which is not easy for me), I was able to hear the words that helped me to understand.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

EASY DOES IT

Sometimes the easiest way to communicate with your son or daughter is through a letter. God will direct your words and the timing of when to share it with your child. The key is not give up, but to continue opening to Spirit for guidance on the best form of communication to use. I received the following note from a mother recently:

"Lately my 13-year-old does not want me to touch her or give her any advice. The narrow windows that she opens for any physical affection are very rare, and I've learned to put off whatever I am doing to take advantage of these moments. A few months ago my daughter asked me, 'What do you believe?" My answer was short and sweet: love. Although concise, I didn't feel it was enough. I though about your advice in a workshop I attended, and decided to put my thoughts into words. I wrote her a 4-page letter to communicate exactly what I meant. Now, even though she doesn't want to 'hear' me, I have noticed that the letter is open and next to her bed quite often."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The greatest wisdom is listening to the guidance of the heart.

— Kabir Helminski

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

PARENTS' CHECK-IN QUESTIONS

1. Is there a prayer from my childhood that is still of comfort to me today?

2. When is the last time I told my teenager that I lover her? How did I say it? What was the response?

3. What can I do to handle my own feelings and stress so that my words are thoughtful rather than reactionary?

CONVERSATION STARTERS

1. What's your favorite word? Why?

2. Can you remember a time when I've misunderstood something you've said to me?

3. Are you embarrassed to compliment other kids? Is it easier to tease them or just have idle banter? Why?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Just remember that those things that get attention flourish.

— Victoria Moran

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

THINGS I LOVE THESE DAYS

1. YouBars

I love foods that give me energy and power to move through my day. I also love knowing exactly what's in those foods if I didn't make them myself. Enter YouBars. I'm obsessed with this comany owned by a mother and son duo. You can create your own, custom bar as well as trail mix and smoothie mix. The bars are my current delight (I haven't yet tried their other produts). You also get to NAME your bar, no kidding. So, if you want to create a box of custom made bars with just the right natural ingredients for your middle schooler who loves almonds you can name it after her...or her sports team and then bring them to practice -- you'll be a hit!

AND, as you add ingredients the web page calculates calories, fiber, protein, etc right there on the screen!

I spoke with Anthony Flynn, the owner, and he has given us a discount code for 5% off anything they make!!! How cool is that. Just type in "HealthyEating" when you check out and you will automatically get the discount.

2. TED Talks

My husband Tom and I can't get enough of these free, inspirational 22 minute lectures by the world's leading thinkers. I love hearing Elizabeth Gilbert speak about finding her muse and my husband's favorite is Barry Schwartz speaking on decision making.

3. Dream Manifestation Wizard

I'll let the developer of these transformational products tell you about them in his own words as mine don't do justice:

Manifest any goal, desire or life dream with this new award winning audio and software program. A simple and highly efficient process, using the power of your intention combined with images and your own voice, to reprogram your mind for instant and lasting success.

This is an amazing gift of empowerment and will uplift you this month or anytime. If you have a dream, this will help manifest that dream. I spend time each week editing my Dream Manifestor images and lists as my dreams come true almost as fast as I can articulate and put them up!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~WHAT'S NEW~*~

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO THESE DAYS

Lately I've been listening to Steve Halperns OM Zone on my laptop as I work. It transports me to ease and calm. Check out this instrumental CD and I promise you will find a new serenity. What soothing music do you love? I need some new songs.

MIMI BLOGS

Click HERE to visit my Blog. You can bookmark it on Google to receive updates of new posts. Do leave comments and suggestions so we can have a virtual conversation. My daughter is traveling in Africa matching schools out in the bush with schools in the U.S. She's a college junior and devoted to Ghana, where she taught for four months at age 18.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

CREATE A YEAR OF DREAMS

Make ALL your dreams come true with the Dream Manifesto!

For YEARS I have been creating vision boards or treasure maps using poster boards and images of what

I would like to manifest in my life...Literally for about 24 years...

Up until now...

Now, since I'm on my computer so much of the time...I've installed this easy to use software, literally I had it up and running in less than 5 minutes, and my images are scheduled to appear with sound...that I've created...every few hours...reminding me of what I wish to focus upon...

It's crazy cool! In fact, I have had to delete most of the images I first put up as they HAVE COME TRUE. Time for new dreams!

**********************************************************

TREAT YOUR TEENAGERS TO STRESS FREE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS!

If your children are in high school, pick up a copy of my book: Don't Worry You'll Get In: 100 Tips for Stress Free College Admission. I believe that knowledge is power and have created various ways to help make the application and admissions process less stressful.

**********************************************************

CREATE A LIFE LIVED ON PURPOSE IN 2009

Busy but Balanced

Begin RIGHT NOW to craft a more balanced life!

This book takes you through the year, week by week...Full of tips, tools, ideas and inspiration for crafting a family life that is calm, centered, and full of joy!

Start 2009 with a committment and intention to craft a life of calm and ease. Dive into this weekly, inspirational guide for living a more meaningful life.

Your own new semester of sorts.

To unsubscribe/change profile: click here.
To subscribe: click here.

SpiritualParenting.com
109 Baker Avenue
Concord, Massachusetts 01742

You are welcome to reproduce this newsletter under the following conditions:

1. Include the following attribution: Mimi Doe is the founder of Spiritual Parenting.com and the award-winning author of "Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul", "Busy But Balanced", "10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting", and co-author of "Don’t' Worry Get In." Mimi's free newsletter, Spiritual Parenting, has more than 30,000 subscribers from around the world. Sign up on the website: www.SpiritualParenting.com.

2. Inform us of how, when, and where you are using the article.

3. Send a hard copy or a link to the site where it is being published if reproducing it electronically.

4. If reproducing the article electronically, include a link to our website: www.SpiritualParenting.com.

Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM) is written and produced by Mimi Doe and Karen Adolphson. If you have any stories to share, questions or comments, please send them to: Editor@SpiritualParenting.com. We'd love to hear from you!

Any submission of tips, stories, and other content to Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month and SpiritualParenting.com, whether by email, mail, or posted to our website, becomes the property of Spiritual Parenting. Please see our terms of use and privacy policy for more details at: http://www.SpiritualParenting.com.

Mimi Doe, Author of:
"Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul"
"Busy But Balanced"
"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"

http://www.SpiritualParenting.com