Secrets of a Happy Christmas; Newsletter

Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM)

Brought to you by Mimi Doe

December, 2006

V8 #11

SECRETS OF A HAPPY CHRISTMAS

- Welcome From Mimi

- Holiday Connectivity

- Family Connectivity

- Family Traditions

- What's New

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Greetings,

As I was racing around looking for the perfect Advent calendar to send to my daughter Whitney at college, I ran into an old friend who told me what she’d done this year, “We were inspired by the idea of a family kindness grant that you wrote about in Busy but Balanced so I’ve bought an empty Advent calendar box and asked everyone in the family to write up 3 nice things they will do for other family members. Then, I’ve randomly put a slip of paper with that favor behind each door of December.”

I loved her idea and what a perfect example of gifts from the heart for an entire month. The other sweet idea came from an employee at my local bookstore. As I was pacing their aisles looking for an advent calendar, a lovely woman there told me that when her daughter went off to college she made an advent calendar using old family photos for each day of December. Her daughter would open a day and see visual reminders of her family back home.

In this month's newsletter, we're sharing many of the holiday traditions from our readers around the world, as well as ideas from my own experience with my family. As you read on, I hope that you'll discover new ways to demonstrate to your children that:

1. Happiness is not about what we have, who we hang out with, what we do for a living, what parties we are invited to, or what we look like. Happiness is about who we are deep inside, what we care passionately about, and how we spread the light of kindness in our family and in our world.

2. Giving, sharing, and forgiving are truly more rewarding than taking, accumulating, and avenging.

3. We can't control the world out there, but we have total control over our own thoughts, actions, and connection with spirit.

So, get out your calendars, brainstorm with your family, phone dear friends to reserve time to be together. Plan, prioritize, and become proactive now so there is meaning and true fulfillment rather than disappointment, debt, and disgruntlement come January 1.

Remember that it is truly the simple things most kids will remember: the ritual of opening an Advent calendar, reading a different holiday book each chilly December evening, cutting out snowflakes for the windows, making mini-gingerbread houses out of graham crackers, gathering old toys and books to pass along to others.

Take a moment to ask yourself what the upcoming holidays mean to you and how you can make that meaning have spiritual resonance with your family. I hope that some of the following ideas will spark a light in your heart this holiday season.

Warmest,

Mimi

p.s. I’m often asked what I think about Santa Claus. I think he’s a lovely, jolly guy!

Read Santa or No Santa.

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Holiday Connectivity: REACHING OUT TO YOUR NEIGHBORS

It's easier than you think to simplify the holidays and to get into the true spirit of the season. Here are some ways to reach out to those in your neighborhood and community.

* How might your family give to others from the heart? Ask your priest, rabbi, school principal, or local Head Start if they know of a particular family that is in need. Find out the ages of their children and, with yours, create a holiday box full of surprises to be delivered anonymously. You might include tickets to a fun local holiday event as well as gifts of holiday decorations, and special food treats. There are many families outside the system whose spirits would be lifted by your generosity and creativity.

* Make sure you schedule time to experience the true spiritual meaning of the holiday. If you are part of a church or temple, hinge your celebrations around special holiday services. Find out the dates now so your calendar reflects your priorities.

* Take a holiday meal to a shut-in or elderly neighbor and stay to share the food and your company. If you aren’t able to bring an entire meal, a simple batch of cookies and your enthusiastic children will lift anyone’s day.

* Pledge a percentage of your holiday budget to buy clothes and toys for a needy family. Get your kids in on the act.

* Make an extra Advent wreath, or another special holiday decoration, for someone who can't afford one or simply surprise a neighbor with your family’s homemade greens.

* Coordinate a neighborhood gift drive. Clean and refurbish neglected toys and books, and help to buy new ones, to donate to a holiday toy collection. If you make it a neighborhood effort it’s a lot more fun.

* Each day of December empty all the change from everyone's pockets into a decorated jar or box. Give the money to a local food pantry.

* Do your neighbors and friends have pets? Bake a batch of "just for dogs" cookies or treats for cats. Then, take your own dog for a walk, and deliver your gifts to all your pet friends.

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Family Connectivity: CREATE SOULFUL HOLIDAYS FOR YOUR KIDS

* Encourage family spirit by creating opportunities and rituals for sibling collaboration. Maybe the kids are in charge of planning a party for their friends at your home, making secret gifts as a team, or concocting a festive breakfast menu.

* Get lots of Christmas books from the library. Read a new story by candlelight each night during the holidays. Your kids will never forget this experience. If they're all wound up, candlelight has a magical, soothing effect. Whining, argumentative children start whispering and getting this dreamy look about them. If you have a fireplace, build a fire and turn the lights out. Sing or tell stories. Pop popcorn. Drink cocoa. Bundle up together.

* Get the whole family outside together as often as possible. Nature reminds us of our place in the world, fills us with a wonder appropriate to the season and helps restore our souls- and it's free! Take a family walk, have a sledding party, hold a marshmallow roast.

* Don't forget the critters. Make ornaments for the birds using pine cones, peanut butter, and bird seed. Leave a few carrots for the bunnies, a salt lick for the deer. There's an old legend that says you can communicate with animals at midnight on Christmas Eve. When I was a young girl living in the north, my family trundled through knee-deep snow to visit with our horses in the barn, hoping to hear a few words. Ask your kids how they might give to the animals this year; follow through on their suggestions.

* Encourage your kids to give themselves a gift this Christmas by setting a personal goal, re-reading their favorite holiday book, or soaking in a long hot bath with red and green candles lighting the room. Self-care begins even with our youngest spirits.

* Turn ordinary windows into magical stained glass with pieces of colored tissue paper. Tape the pieces into a collage on the glass. Suddenly your home becomes a shrine.

* Give your child a string of little white lights and let her decorate her room with them. They can stay up year-round to add magic to the ordinary.

* If you attend a particular church or temple, arrange to take your child there when there is no service. In the quiet sacred space talk about how it feels to be there, explain the symbols, talk about the upcoming holiday and its significance. Hold hands and feel the energy of those who have prayed in this holy place before you.

*Follow the advice of Helen who posted on the SpiritualParenting boards:

During the run up to Christmas / New Years we always make sure that we have 1 day a week where we do something relaxing and fun as a family....Maybe just a walk in the woods or a trip out...a drive somewhere new, etc. All other offers are politely declined. That is OUR day as a family and we all look forward to it. It is great to just chill for at least one day in a busy week.

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FAMILY TRADITIONS

Release the struggle of creating The Perfect Holiday. Begin some new family traditions, and let go of those that no longer have meaning for you. Here are some ideas for family traditions that you can make your own.

* If you have a Christmas tree, then make decorating it a soulful event. Bring out every candle you own and light them. Play music, put some cider on the stove to warm, and let the answering machine pick up calls. When you string the lights, talk about the power of light in your lives and how we are each beacons of positive light in the world. When the chord becomes tangled and you're about to loose control, take a deep breath, have a sip of cider, and begin again. Remember: play and enjoy the process and you'll all cherish the end result, no matter what it looks like. You might even roll out your sleeping bags and sleep snuggled under the newly decorated tree.

* Prepare a gift food basket for grandparents or other special relatives and friends. Include their favorite treats, especially something that they may not buy for themselves.

* Write a letter to each of the people you'd like to remember listing 10 things you love about them. If you have children, help them write a letter to each family member. An extended family can do this instead of drawing names this year. This is a gift of your time, effort and love, and it will be kept and remembered for a lifetime. If you're creative, make each person a card on which to record your list. Sit around the tree on Christmas morning and read the letters out loud. Even if there are no other gifts under the tree, even if there's no tree, this Christmas will be full of love. And isn't that what it's all about?

* Who needs a fancy dinner with all the trimmings this year? Instead make a feast out of leftovers or order take-out. The atmosphere of joy and ease is what your kids will remember.

* Experience a new worship tradition during the holidays. Attend a children's pageant, a choir concert, a bell-ringing service, a Living Christmas Tree presentation, or an outdoor Living Nativity scene.

* Plan Family Nights. Mark dates on your calendar when your family will spend time together to see Christmas lights (take your family for a drive through a Holiday Lights park), write holiday cards together, and celebrate candle-lighting.

* Eat breakfast and dinner by candlelight during the month of December. Many Christians light weekly Advent candles symbolizing hope, peace, joy and love. Perhaps you could discuss each quality while lighting the candle it symbolizes. Or, your family might give 4 candles different meanings. They could represent the light of God that surrounds us, the love of God that enfolds us, the power of God that protects us, and the presence of God that watches over us. As you light the new candle each Sunday, discuss what it means with your children. Create a ceremony out of the simple act of lighting a candle. Your children will delight in the event, no matter their age or their level of sarcasm, when they sense your commitment to the idea.

* Save all those wonderful family photographs you receive in holiday cards. Come January 1, bring out one photo a day and place it in the center of your kitchen table, or in any central place. Bring your attention to the people pictured. A photo a day, surrounded by your prayers for their peace and joy in the New Year, will deliver much more than simple good cheer back to the sender. One mom I know bundles her annual holiday cards, tying them with a beautiful ribbon. The following holiday season she rereads each one with her kids. She has about five years worth tucked away in a special box.

* Try to keep television OFF during the holidays. Seeing all the “in your face” advertisements can make you anxious about what you might have forgotten, or didn't buy. It can also cause your kids to want more, and more, and more stuff.

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WHAT'S NEW

Holiday Gifts We Love

Make your toy purchases thoughtfully. We love open ended toys that spark the imagination such as Hearth Song's amazing dimple dolls for infants and toddlers and their pattern blocks for older kids.

Books We Love:

*For the adults on your list, my top favorite novels of all time:

Peace Like a River

One of the most beautiful coming of age stories I've ever read! Give this book to your brother, your uncle, your mom, your best girlfriend!

Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress

A sweet, tenderly written story about love during the Cultural Revolution.

Lying Awake

Concisely written spiritual journey into one woman's relationship with sacred experiences. This is a MUST read and my one or two lines don't do it justice.

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Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM) is written and produced by Mimi Doe and Karen Adolphson. If you have any stories to share, questions or comments, please send them to: Editor@SpiritualParenting.com. We'd love to hear from you!

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Mimi Doe, Author of:
"Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul"
"Busy But Balanced"
"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"
PO Box 157 Concord MA 01742
http://www.SpiritualParenting.com