Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM)

Brought to you by Mimi Doe

November, 2006

V8 #10

EACH NEW DAY IS A GIFT

 

- Welcome From Mimi

- Weekly Tips

- The Season of Abundance

- Take a Deep Breath - A Gliding Breath Exercise

- The Power of Starting Over

- Parent Check-In: Completing Incompletes

- What's New

 

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Greetings,

 

I hope this finds you happily enjoying the glorious fall season with your family.  You are well on your way, this month, to creating a calmer life and savoring time with those you love while easily and effortlessly getting done everything that needs to be done.

 

We have heard from many of you that you’d like this newsletter to arrive a bit before the start of a new month so you can use the weekly tips more thoroughly.  So, this is November’s newsletter, delivered to you in late October. 

 

November is all about gratitude and abundance.  Think of the cornucopia on your Thanksgiving table full to overflowing with fruit, nuts, and nature. Your life is a cornucopia full to the brim with good things. It’s just that sometimes you forget to bring it out to display (give thanks for) all the gifts.

 

I give thanks daily for technology, it allows us to stay connected and I love that. But, we had a little glitch with our community boards and lost all of the past postings -- hundreds of great tips and ideas you have sent in. The universe has a great way of cleaning house and opening up so we can fill in again.  So, come on over and check out the boards, post your new thoughts and watch for a GREAT opportunity to win neat stuff.

 

I also wanted to let you know about my blog on ClubMom.  Lots of you have signed up to receive blog updates, much easier than having to check in on one more data point.  Just head to the blog and sign up on the left side of your screen.

 

Blessings to you and your family during this glorious Thanksgiving season.  I can’t wait to have my family gathered around the dining room table feasting together.

Speaking of which, I’ve posted some of my favorite Thanksgiving recipes on the boards and will look for yours.

 

Warmest,

Mimi

 

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WEEKLY TIPS

 

October 29-November 4: Who or what is zapping your energy? Who are the energy vampires in your life? How can you free yourself from their negativity without being hurtful or unkind? Identify one energy vampire and set about taking care of it this week.  Dripping kitchen faucet been bothering you for years – attend to it now and watch your energy surge.

 

November 4-11: Get out a piece of paper or open your journal and write down 50 things you want to do before you die. Let yourself have a blast with this - don't stop at No. 18. Do you want to soar over New Mexico in a hot air balloon? Travel to Tibet? Adopt a child? Write a children's book? Go ahead - list your heart's desires without editing. Somehow, compiling our future dreams sets in motion serendipitous events that make things happen. I recently spoke with a woman who said she had made just such a list when she was an 8-year-old. She is now well past 60 and says that almost every one of those 50 goals has come true. She even shook the hand of the president of the United States, No. 33 on her list.

 

November 12-18: Say No this week to over-scheduling your kids (and yourself). Our culture doesn't honor the value of free time, but we must. Kids aren't comfortable with quiet as they grow older because they aren't used to it. It's of critical importance to create space in our young children's days for unstructured, open-ended quiet time. One 6th grader, armed with her Palm Pilot and 20-pound backpack, declined my daughter's invitation to "hang out at our house" because there wasn't a spot for the next 2 weeks on her schedule. When you create a manageable schedule for your kids, you eliminate some of the exhaustion and stress that is consuming far too many of them.

 

November 19-24: Create a gratitude jar.  Write down, on small pieces of paper, things your family is thankful for. Put these slip into a jar or box, and read one when you need a does of balance. It can keep things in perspective as life spins around you.

 

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There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy.
— Ralph H. Blum

 

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A SEASON OF ABUNDANCE

 

• We can change our mindset and approach each encounter with our children from a higher place - a place centered in Spirit and love. When we parent with love, our children take away a positive cherished feeling; actions that seem little or unimportant to us have the potential to cause a profound reaction in our children. Pay attention and counteract the harshness our world wants to impose on kids. Always remember that children are citizens of the spiritual world as well as the physical world. You honor their souls as you acknowledge they are spirit in human form. It might take kids a while to get used to their cumbersome, limiting form - so have patience.  When you strengthen their natural connection to spirit you give them the gift of an abundant future.

 

• Enjoy what you have and remain aware of the abundance that fills your life. Point out all the wonderful bounty in your child's life. Be open to the gifts that are given to you. Look at your day as being filled with endless choices, endless opportunities, and endless growth. It is indeed another day and there is always another way. Remember that abundance is a state of being, an awareness of the gifts right here, right now. Try a "gratitude attitude" and give your children the gift of abundance thinking.  When my kids were younger I would ask them each day, “What gifts do you think the Universe is going to deliver to you today?”  They became bounty hunters, abundance seekers, and grateful recipients of a full moon glowing for them or an astonishing leaf sighting or snow that packed perfectly into a snowwoman.

• As much energy as our children share with us, it is also important we fill ourselves with energy from our own wellsprings so that we can begin anew. When we are centered and energized we are able to give to our children without draining ourselves, and to receive without draining them. Our children need the same energizing tools. Being aware of breath is a simple but effective energy enhancer. Remind children to take deep breaths throughout the day. Whenever we are feeling tired we can breathe in the energy of the universe. Before each meal we can habitually breathe in and out deeply a few times. We can take breaks throughout our days and step outside to breathe the fresh air, feeling it flow through our bodies.

 

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“In the morning I fee like I was just made all over again.” (Age six)

 

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TAKE A DEEP BREATH - A GLIDING BREATH EXERCISE

 

Try this gliding breath exercise with your kids to help release any tension stored in their bodies so thy are able to move forward in their day:

 

Stand in a place where you can stretch out your arms without touching anyone else, your feet about shoulder-width apart.

Close your eyes and become aware of your body. Find a way to stand so that you are balanced and calm.

Now, take a deep breath and raise your arms should shoulder height, palms open to the ceiling or sky.

Breathe deeply in and out as you stretch your arms out as far as they will go.

Take 3 deep breaths, and with each exhalation, lower your arms back down to your sides.

Pretend you are a bird soaring above your town, wind against your face.

Don't forget the deep breaths synchronized with your arms as you glide into your new moment.

 

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To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.

--- Johannes A. Gaertner

 

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THE POWER OF STARTING OVER

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson lived in my town of Concord, Massachusetts, and I draw upon his wisdom often. His views on the power of the present moment are among the most meaningful to me:

 

"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. He only is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with worry, fret, and anxiety. Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to ware a moment on yesterday."

 

Nature conspires to help us make new choices. Every day, we start again. We wake to a life that is both the same and radically different than what we experienced the day before. Sleep has a spiritual magic all its own. During the night, our subconscious mind continues to process events in our lives through dreams: reordering, shifting, inspiring, resolving. Sleeping on a decision or an issue can help us clarify options or put them in a new perspective. I've often found great peace and clarity by simply allowing myself to rest deeply.

 

Throughout the year, too, we're reminded that we can choose to leave the past behind and move into a new experience of life. Spring is a potent and obvious reminder of renewal, as new life buds and blooms all around us. In winter, the landscape can change dramatically in the space of a few hours; gray and brown hues become buried under sparkling white flakes. The season upon us now, fall, shows us the natural wisdom of allowing withered aspects to fall from the tree of our lives. And, in summer, gardens and flowerpots can transform virtually overnight as water and warmth create exponential growth.

 

Making resolutions doesn't have to be confined to January 1, the start of the school semester, or Rosh Hashanah. Instead, we can begin our week with new resolutions, or write mini resolutions for each obstacle we face. We can make the most of each dynamic new day by making sincere and meaningful resolutions, letting go of our past mistakes, and asking God to give us the courage and strength to follow our resolutions to change.

 

Making amends can release us from the weight of regret. A friend of mine who travels the country as a corporate trainer and business coach is actually a spiritual guerrilla in the corporate world. One of the tools he brings to his interactions with individuals and groups is the power of what he calls "taking care of incompletes." These are the moments we regret from the past that linger as unfinished incidents in our hearts and minds. When we identify the thoughts, words, and actions we regret having, or not having, we can complete them by making reparations, as apology, even an anonymous gesture.

 

The process is remarkably freeing.  I suggested it in a workshop for parents a while back, and one of the participants called me weeks later to tell me the following story. "Your talk prompted me to recall an incident with a college chum - well, I had actually thought about it hundreds of times over the years. I'd spoken in just to this friend, and, even though I'd seen the wound they inflected, I was too embarrassed to apologize at the time. The incident was never address, we lost touch, and a few decades passed. Nevertheless, I thought about it frequently, wincing each time.”

 

"I decided to do something after your talk. I tracked down my friend…drafted a brief and heart-felt apology, and sent it by mail. Although I didn't hear back from my former friend, I have no reason to believe anything other than that he received and read my note. The process of apologizing, some 20 years too late, lifted a burden of regret I had carried for far too long.  In an odd way, it's also freed me up to attend to the other areas of my life. My teens know the story, and I do believe they will be more careful with how they handle friends."

 

We can clear up incompletes with other people in our lives, and, most definitely, with our children. If there's an incident from the recent, or distant, past that you regret in your relationship with your child, acknowledge and apologize for it. By doing so, you model the value of sincere apologies in healing relationships and allow yourself to begin anew as a parent.

 

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PARENT CHECK-IN: COMPLETING INCOMPLETES

 

- Make a list of "incompletes" for yourself. What past actions or words would you take back? What opportunities to speak or act in the past would you take back? Choose one, and decide what you can do to complete it. Write a note of apology to someone? Express your appreciation? Do it, and then notice any difference in your energy and in the number of times you think about that particular past event. In particular, notice what happens to the energy of your memories of the situation.

 

- Suggest to your child, if she expresses regret, that it's rarely too late to do things differently. Encourage a deed or expression that will allow her to channel the wasted energy of regret into positive action. For example, she could slip a note of apology into a school locker, invite a friend with whom she had a falling out to lunch, or meet with the biology teacher to learn from her mistakes on the blown test.

 

- Sometimes, teens (and adults) find decision-making difficult for fear of future feelings of regret. We can find comfort in knowing that the vast majority of decisions can be undone if the need arises. "Just decide for today," my mother used to say. "You don't have to decide for the rest of your life."

 

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WHAT'S NEW

             

 

Product of the Month: Inspired Generations Natural Wood Blocks These blocks have become my favorite toy! I have a blast creating inspirational phrases. Inspired Generations has offered a special 5% discount for all subscribers who call in their orders 847-913-9891.  Get a start on your holiday shopping and buy this set for any family on your list...or buy yourself a new toy! They come in pink, blue, or natural (my favorite) and a set costs $68.00. Send Your Nurturing Products for Review to: SpiritualParenting.com c/o Mimi Doe 109 Baker Ave. Concord, MA  01742 We are happy to send your product to our SpiritualParenting team and designated mom experts for their review. New Books We Love: *I love Lynn Robinsson's newest book, Trust Your Gut!  For anyone who wants tips on how to follow your intuition on the job, this is the book for you. *If your kids play sports you need all the help you can navigating the playing fields and coaching issues.  Check out: Home Team Advantage by: Brooke deLench

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SPIRITUAL CINEMA

 

If you're as tired of the commercial movies available as I am, you'll be thrilled to hear of a new alternative: Spiritual Cinema Circle. Each month you will receive a DVD with 3 to 5 high quality spiritual film selection to keep. You can watch these films with your children or after they are safely tucked in bed. Spiritual Cinema examines who we are and why we are here, and illuminates the human condition through stories and images that inspire us to reach our best human potential. For more information and to sign up, click on the little pool of water above.

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http://www.spiritualcinemacircle.com/public/previeew/?af+17306

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Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Month (SM) is written and produced by Mimi Doe and Karen Adolphson. If you have any stories to share, questions or comments, please send them to: Editor@SpiritualParenting.com. We'd love to hear from you!

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Mimi Doe, Author of:
"Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul"
"Busy But Balanced"
"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"
PO Box 157 Concord MA 01742
http://www.SpiritualParenting.com

Copyright 2006 Mimi Doe. All rights reserved.